Thursday, May 13, 2010

A little comfort station humor

Hello, welcome to the underground comfort station.

Hello yourself, Donovan. Merry Christmas!


Oh, I recognize you. You're one of them blokes that came through the toilets from Non-Parallel Time.

I am indeed.

Did you say Merry Christmas, sir? You know it's May now?

I shall keep the spirit of Christmas in my heart all the days of the year, my young friend.


You seemed different. ... Might I interest you in some fancy soaps or colognes? Or howabout a shoe shine?

Well, I don't like my sneakers to be too shiny.

Perhaps you'd like to join our Soap Club? Privileges of soap club membership include your very own soap dish right 'ere in the loo and your very own selection of fragrant French soaps any time you like.

Well, I'm not much of a joiner. ... I think maybe I'll just pee.


Very well, governor. You've come to the right place, haven't you. Pee away to you heart's content. All of our freshly scrubbed stalls are available at the moment if you'd like some privacy and, of course, all of our state-of-the art urination devices are at your service.

So, no incoming traffic lately from Non-Parallel Time?


Your group was the last, sir. Fancy a sandwich?

Um, no thanks. I brought my own. ... And you haven't seen anyone from my group since?
Sorry, sir. Magazine?




No thanks, but that looks like a good one. ... I've been away, you see, and I'm not sure what happened to my friends.

Not sure, sir. Except for the serious bloke. Shipped him straight through the chute to the Antarctic Vatican I did on Onslo's orders.

OK. ... Guess I'll take that at face value.

Oh wait! Where is my head? ... In the loo I suppose -- a little comfort station humor sir, if I may -- there's a message for you. Here ya go.


Why thank you, Donovan. And here's a little something for your trouble. Merry Christmas!

A sovereign from 1858! Thank you sir. Good day, sir!


The same to you. Have a wonderful holiday season!

What a lovely gent. Afraid his head mighta been squeezed too hard in the loo, though.
...

Aw, crap.



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