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So you're trying to tell us you swam here from non-Parallel time through a toilet?
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An underground toilet. yes.
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Cool. I crawled into a toilet once. It was awesome.
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We don't want to hear about your love life,
Bourdain.
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You see, I was a sea creature engaged in a death struggle with an evil demon ...
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Cool!
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Is it possible I may have some clothing? ...
Atown-Liker has not yet arrived?
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Ah! You must be the Countess of Monaco, from non-Parallel Time. I've heard so much about you. ... Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Green Guy.
Atown-Liker is detained at a hockey game and shall join us later. ... And I brought you a robe.
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You, sir, are a gentleman. The Green Guy in non-Parallel Time is actually a dear friend of mine. A lovely man such as yourself, but green. Decidedly so.
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Countess, you are too kind. I've actually had the pleasure of meeting your friend and, yes, he is quite green.
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Tell us more about the toilet!
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Yes, of course, the toilet. ... You see, I was fighting the demon Marge -- and winning I might add -- when she hit me with the
Butz helicopter. I fell into the
Butz building and it exploded and collapsed on top of me. ... I found myself in an underground passageway. ... This is a lovely robe. Is it Turkish?
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But of course. It's from the French Room at Hess's. A beautiful robe fit for a beautiful countess, such as yourself.
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Oh, brother ...
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Ah, you are a lovely man, indeed. We must go shopping at this French Room of yours. ... Where was I? Oh yes. The tunnel. I
crawled through the tunnel and I began to feel myself change. You see, the reprehensible Dodger had transformed me into a horrific sea creature when he injected me with an amphibian growth hormone while I was recovering from a cosmetic procedure in Monaco. He was actually trying to kill me on orders from Marge, but he apparently injected me with the incorrect syringe. Later, just before I bit his head off, he injected me again, incorrectly, again, I would assume. Honestly, that vile creature has no talent as a henchman.
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Yawn .... We're not getting any younger here, princess -- especially you ...
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Of course, my dear, I shall continue. Apparently a 30 minute meal requires a 30 second
attention span. ... You see, as I crawled through this abandoned tunnel, I could feel my body begin to
transform. I became smaller and my scales began to recede. I came to an underground lavatory. It must have been somewhere along Hamilton Street ....
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Of course! The underground public lavatories at Seventh and Hamilton streets. They are still operation here in Parallel Time. They provide a welcome respite for the weary shopper in our bustling downtown.
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Those must be the ones. They are abandoned in non-Parallel Time. But they are guarded by an attendant -- actually a skeleton in in a bathroom attendant's uniform.
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Could it be old Donovan?
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I don't know his name. He offered me a moist towelette and told me the commode was a passage to Parallel Time. The lavatory began to collapse around me so I dove into the toilet. ... And now I am here.
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How fascinating!
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Did he say anything else?
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He said something else, but I did not understand. ... But I remember the word "Newman."
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