Friday, February 26, 2010

Relics of the Ice Age


So these are the Vatican's Antarctic archives. Impressive.


This was once the Fortress of Solitude. We rent the place from Superman.

You actually have a real Superman in Parallel Time?


Of course, Agent Bauer. Don't you?

Well, no. I mean only in comic books. ... Can he help us with the Crows?


No. Actually he is quite useless. He has very few super powers, if any.

What is this ... a dumpster full of fingers?


Relics. We keep various body parts of saints here in cold storage. Here is St. Anthony's head. They always said he'd lose it if it weren't attached. ... Oh, look! Here Galileo's compass. Ha! ... A bit of an inside joke, I'm afraid.

What are these?


Cave drawings.


Jesus playing with dinosaurs?


Jesus loved the dinosaurs.

Funny way of showing it. ... What's this one?


We call her Saint Emily. We believe she was a neighbor of Adam and Eve.

Neighbor? ... How old are these drawings?


Oh, about 6,000 years. As old as Creation itself.

You mean that Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs and Saint Emily lived just six thousand years ago?


What sort of a question is that, Agent Bauer? Of course they did. The Bible tells us so.


You don't believe in evolution?


Evolution?


Darwin?


Wasn't he on Bewitched? ... Ah! Here we are. Our most sacred artifacts are stored in this chamber.


More cave drawings?


Not drawings Agent Bauer. Relics of the Ice Age. ... Two perfectly preserved frozen bodies. ... Agent Bauer, I introduce you to Adam and Eve.







Yabba dabba doo.