Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A great player and an even greater man

Wow. I never thought the Eagles would get off to a 9-0 start this year, not with all the trouble The Player caused right before the first game.

Well, I'd say it's a testament to his maturity that he took back his words against the fans and donated this year's salary to the poor.

You know, that's just the way he is. A paradigm of reason ... a great player and an even greater man. A true philanthropist. ... I just wish I could get a bet down. Ever since The Irish Tenor crossed over to non-Parallel Time, I've been unable to track down a reliable sports book.

Well I must say I won't miss that fellow Ronan.

... Or that flock of crows that was following him around. What was that all about anyway?

Oh, apparently in non-Parallel Time his ancestor Cuchulainn made enemies with all corvids by killing a flock of their gods -- the sea ravens -- and leaving the head of their leader on the rocks for all to see. Before that, Cuchuilainn was in good favor with the crows, who had helped him on several occasions.
But all of this happened in the other timeline?

That's how I understand it. ... When the mortally wounded Cuchulainn was slain by Lugaid's magic spear, he tied himself to a pillar of rock so that he could die on his feet. Lugaid's soldiers were afraid to approach him until a crow landed on his shoulder and plucked out his eyes, assuring them that he was dead. Lugaid then cut off Cuchulainn's head.

A fitting end, I guess.

Indeed. And here's another one: I'll take that bishop, thank you very much!

Oh, you're very welcome indeed. Check.

Clever. Luckily I have my knight in reserve ... um ... drat, your queen has me penned in!

Good move. I'll take that rook, thanks. Check again.

Goodness gracious! I seem to be in a bit of a pickle. Is that checkmate in three?

Two, actually, maybe one, depending on your next move. Give up? ... Good game anyway! Are you going to the Pawlowski Center to hear Vice President Bennett speak tomorrow?

I concede. ... I wouldn't miss that speech! I hope she brings her Nobel Prize along.

Stranger things have happened. ... OK, see ya then. We'll pick up the monorail outside Tommie Tomorrow's.

Cheerio!