"Sympathy for the Devil," dude

I have some good news and some somewhat unfortunate news.

Oh?


Using the transpolar destabilizer, I have run a test on the transphasic bubble that has imprisoned the Great White Crow.

And?


It seems very likely that I can free that magnificent creature from its fetters.

Is that the good news or the bad news?


That, of course, is the good news. ... The unfortunate news is that my test may have alerted the celestial realm travel authorities of my intentions.

It's really hard to tell the good news and bad news apart with you, Bramwell.


When we have created Armageddon these things will become clear to you.

Oh, more good news. ... So what's the next step?


I would have wished for more time to formulate a plan, but I must act quickly to free the Great White Crow and bring him into non-Parallel Time ...

Whoa! What the heck was that, a rat?? Did you see that??




It appears to be a rodent of some sort there chirping in the corner.

Is he leaving?


He has disappeared into a ...

Please don't say crev-AHSS again.


... hole in the ice, if you will. ... But he has left something behind.

Is that an I-phone?


Yes and it has an annoying ringtone.

It's playing "Sympathy for the Devil," dude.

No skin off my butt

Here we are. You guys sould become fast friends. Anyway, I think I'm late for supper and I'm famished. These ladyfingers don't have any meat on them at all.


Were those St. Anne's fingers?


Sir, my name is Bramwell B. Bramwell, Esquire.


Very nice.


What does the B. stand for?


Bramwell, of course.


Knew it!


And the Esquire? Is that some sort of title, dude?

Yes. Yes it is.


And a very elegant and pretentious one at that.


Bitchin'! I love titles. My name is St. Charles of Malibu, Rockstar. ... Is it O.K. with you, Squire, that I said "St." and not "Saint."


No skin off my butt, gentlemen. I'm due upstairs for the group photo.


Do you believe that tool? Not one drop of tiger blood in him.

He is somewhat persnickety ... and objectionable in every way. Remind me to kill him, would you?


Bitchin'! I'd have done it myself if I weren't a disembodied head.


We all have our crosses to bear, my friend. ... Tell me, what do you know of the Great White Crow?

Usually I do the torturing

So let me get this straight. You think Fred and Wilma here are Adam and Eve?


But, of course.


And that Jesus liked to ride around on a dinosaur?


You have seen the evidence for yourself.


And you think that there was a lady named Emily -- who looks like somebody I actually know -- who was Adam and Eve's next-door neighbor?


This is what all Parallel Christians believe, Agent Bauer.


Jeeze. Usually I do the torturing. ... OK, how did Adam and Eve have a next door neighbor when they were the only two people on earth?


It is a mystery.


Do you believe in Noah's Ark?


Of course.


So, what happened to the dinosaurs? Did Noah take them on the ark?


Of course he did. Two of each of God's creatures were saved from the Great Flood.


So why aren't there dinosaurs walking around right now?


How do you know there are not? They could exist in some remote jungle like the Muhuru or the Ngoubou, or under the sea, like the Loch Ness monster or the Issie.


What about dinosaur fossils?


What about them?


They are millions of years old.


Nonsense. The world is 6,000 years old. The fossils date from the time of the Great Flood when many of the dinosaurs perished and were covered in mud. There is ample evidence of the existence of dinosaurs in the Bible as well as in recent history. Dragons, for instance. Leviathans. Giant flying birds. The great white crow.


The great white crow?


Yes, a giant flying creature who has lived in the ice for a thousand years.


Ice? Ice as in Antarctica?


Oh crap.