Usually I do the torturing

So let me get this straight. You think Fred and Wilma here are Adam and Eve?


But, of course.


And that Jesus liked to ride around on a dinosaur?


You have seen the evidence for yourself.


And you think that there was a lady named Emily -- who looks like somebody I actually know -- who was Adam and Eve's next-door neighbor?


This is what all Parallel Christians believe, Agent Bauer.


Jeeze. Usually I do the torturing. ... OK, how did Adam and Eve have a next door neighbor when they were the only two people on earth?


It is a mystery.


Do you believe in Noah's Ark?


Of course.


So, what happened to the dinosaurs? Did Noah take them on the ark?


Of course he did. Two of each of God's creatures were saved from the Great Flood.


So why aren't there dinosaurs walking around right now?


How do you know there are not? They could exist in some remote jungle like the Muhuru or the Ngoubou, or under the sea, like the Loch Ness monster or the Issie.


What about dinosaur fossils?


What about them?


They are millions of years old.


Nonsense. The world is 6,000 years old. The fossils date from the time of the Great Flood when many of the dinosaurs perished and were covered in mud. There is ample evidence of the existence of dinosaurs in the Bible as well as in recent history. Dragons, for instance. Leviathans. Giant flying birds. The great white crow.


The great white crow?


Yes, a giant flying creature who has lived in the ice for a thousand years.


Ice? Ice as in Antarctica?


Oh crap.

Relics of the Ice Age

So these are the Vatican's Antarctic archives. Impressive.


This was once the Fortress of Solitude. We rent the place from Superman.

You actually have a real Superman in Parallel Time?


Of course, Agent Bauer. Don't you?

Well, no. I mean only in comic books. ... Can he help us with the Crows?


No. Actually he is quite useless. He has very few super powers, if any.

What is this ... a dumpster full of fingers?


Relics. We keep various body parts of saints here in cold storage. Here is St. Anthony's head. They always said he'd lose it if it weren't attached. ... Oh, look! Here Galileo's compass. Ha! ... A bit of an inside joke, I'm afraid.

What are these?


Cave drawings.

Jesus playing with dinosaurs?


Jesus loved the dinosaurs.

Funny way of showing it. ... What's this one?

We call her Saint Emily. We believe she was a neighbor of Adam and Eve.

Neighbor? ... How old are these drawings?


Oh, about 6,000 years. As old as Creation itself.

You mean that Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs and Saint Emily lived just six thousand years ago?


What sort of a question is that, Agent Bauer? Of course they did. The Bible tells us so.


You don't believe in evolution?


Evolution?


Darwin?


Wasn't he on Bewitched? ... Ah! Here we are. Our most sacred artifacts are stored in this chamber.


More cave drawings?


Not drawings Agent Bauer. Relics of the Ice Age. ... Two perfectly preserved frozen bodies. ... Agent Bauer, I introduce you to Adam and Eve.

Yabba dabba doo.